i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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