I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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