I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the day after is always just damage control
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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