If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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