I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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