does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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