ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
