Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
