Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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