You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
