His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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