this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
