I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
