why didn't you poke me back
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
