So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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