This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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