That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
