Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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