i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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