i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
