**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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