How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She said her name was "party"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
