We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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