people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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