My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
