Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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