I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
