Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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