matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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