It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Green mimosas i think yes
they call him Oral-B. enough said
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
