Can i not drive my cunt home
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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