it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize