just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize