one might say we're banned from that church
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
