I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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