Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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