I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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