I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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