He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I am naked and annoyed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
