And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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