my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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