i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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