that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize