New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
