it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
