We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i will never coherently bang her
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize