Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
