Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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