I want to walk on stilts...naked
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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