Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Cold hands, warm shart.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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