If i come over, it means nothing
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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