im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
