So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
