I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
