ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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