u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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