youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You've changed since you got that strap on
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize