Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
