the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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