Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize