Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.