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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"

  (305): View more from Florida

  does that mean he doesn't last long?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (217): View more from Illinois

  Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

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• (817): View more from Texas

  When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.

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• (925): View more from California

  Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?

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• (213): View more from California

  Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier

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• (949): View more from California

  Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist

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