I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize