I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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