she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
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He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
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there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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